Would you like a cup of tea, dear Alice?
by The-Bubbling-Pipe
Summary: An 'Alice in Wonderland' themed Creek-ish one-shot. Where Tweek is Alice.


**Disclaimer:**** I do not own South Park or Alice in Wonderland.**

**Just because. Enjoy!**

"Gah! Where am I? Sweet Jesus! The underpants gnomes have taken me to their underground kingdom to feast on my flesh!"

This was the, quite wrong, theory of Tweek Tweak. In reality, he had fallen down a rabbit hole whilst attempting to escape from the gnomes. And where do rabbit holes lead to? The world of Wonderland of course!

Currently, Tweek was inspecting the room that he stood in. A box of biscuits was on the floor, a glass vial of liquid sat upon a glass table and a key sat upon this same table.

Tweek picked up one of the biscuits which read "Eat me". He sniffed it and decided to ignore the advice. I mean, who eats food that's been that close to the floor? Think of the germs! He didn't even deem it safe enough to have in his hands, and so dropped it back where he found it.

Next was the vial which read "Drink me". He used the sniff test once more and was highly excited when it was a familiar smell. However, before he could drink it, he heard a voice.

"Hello Alice" it said.

Tweek whipped his head back and forth, trying to determine where the voice had come from. Apparently, it had come from the doorknob of a very small door.

Tweek was confused as to why he had been called Alice, but did not ask. His parents had always taught him never to talk to strangers.

"You need a key to get through this door, Alice"

Tweek looked back to the glass table and the key that sat upon it. He figured that this must be the key that the doorknob spoke of seeing as there were no other keys in sight. He slipped the vial into his pocket before picking up the key and placing it in the lock. It turned with ease and the door swung open.

It was now that the doorknob chose to speak again.

"Alice, you are far too large to fit through. Whatever will you do?"

Tweek didn't want to be near the talking door knob that continued to call him Alice. So he did what he was best at. He squeezed through the doorway to the land beyond and ran like hell.

After sprinting for five minutes, a panic attack at the cat with the massive grin that disappeared, and a choice in direction (He chose right based on eenie meanie minney moe) he arrived at a lavishly set out table.

At the end of this table sat an odd man wearing an odd hat. Tweek would go so far as to describe him as looking a little 'mad'. And while Tweek would usually never sit near anyone who he could describe as even slightly mad, the temptation that, perhaps, on the table there may be a hot cup of coffee was too great.

Once seated, the man in the funny hat (Tweek thought it was called a top hat) asked "Would you like a cup of tea, dear Alice?" while holding up a teapot apparently filled with tea.

Without waiting for a reply, the man began to fill up a cup of the liquid.

"Gah! Um actually do you have any coffee?" Tweek questioned a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Oh no! That stuff is nasty!" And thus a cup of tea, not coffee, was presented in front of Tweek.

Tweek glared begrudgingly at the beverage. Was he really expected to drink this poorly imitated form of coffee?

Then he recalled the vial hiding in his coat pocket. He downed the entire thing in one gulp.

You see, the liquid in the vial smelled incredibly similar to Tweek's chosen vice; Coffee.

Before he knew it, Tweek had shrunken to the size of a thumbnail and in the liquid he despised in the teacup.

He flailed, he screamed for help, he did his best to keep his head above the surface but soon the foul brown liquid was rushing into his lungs, blinding him, engulfing him.

And thus Tweek Tweaks life was ended in a cup of tea.

The entire time the man in the funny hat sat and watched. At last he emitted a giggle.

"Oh Alice, you're such a funny girl"

_Later_

Craig Tucker had been searching for Tweek for the last hour. He dearly loved the boy but sometimes he was too much for Craig to handle.

As a last resort he checked down a rabbit hole. I mean you never knew where Tweek would run when he was panicking. And so he also fell into the realm of Wonderland.

The glass table was still the central decor but instead of a glass vial and key sitting upon it, it was a teacup filled with tea.

Craig was in fact very thirsty. Running after his blonde caused this to happen. And, as Craig did not share his boyfriend's disgust of the beverage, he stood sipping it.

It somehow had an undertone of coffee. This made Craig smile. The flavour of coffee reminded him of Tweek or, more specifically, Tweek's lips.

Towards the end of his drink, Craig's lips encountered something solid. He took the cup from his mouth to look into it. He saw a sight that broke his heart and shattered his mind.

His tiny blonde, even tinier than usual, lay in a pool of tea at the bottom of the cup, with a note attached with a bloodied pin to his tiny chest.

"Not the right Alice"

**That was not as good as I thought the idea was =/**

**Still, read and review with tips to improve please!**


End file.
